About The Weather

There are times when outdoor, or field, perversions become somewhat problematical. I am sure, by way of example, you are all too familiar with what can happen with weasel liver oil when diluted by water, which makes it unsuitable to use as a lubricant, or other unguent, during a downpour. If there is heavy rainContinue reading “About The Weather”

The More Advanced Fruit-Based Sexual Perversions

We have mentioned fruit-based perversions before, but for those wishing to further their understanding of these more esoteric deviations today we are going to examine some of the more advanced fruit-based sexual perversions. Such deviations as the Loganberry Run and the Strawberry Feel are, quite evidently, more for the summer months. This is especially soContinue reading “The More Advanced Fruit-Based Sexual Perversions”

A Surfeit of the Middle Ages

Although born in the late Middle-Ages, Palfrey Surfeit became one of the most famous proto-scientists and artists of his – and all – time. Surfeit astounded the scholars of the period when he discovered that women were naked under their clothes. He also proved the moon was not actually made of the navel lint ofContinue reading “A Surfeit of the Middle Ages”

The Fundamental Theory of Cats

Pelmet Cheesetoastie is probably the world’s most famous contemporary theoretical physicist. Although he may not have the luxuriant hairstyling necessary for a career as a TV scientist, nevertheless he has found international fame through the vital nature of his studies. At first, the scientific world was sceptical about another fundamental force beyond the forces physicsContinue reading “The Fundamental Theory of Cats”

Reality is Not What it Used to Be

‘Is it real?’ I asked. ‘Ah.’ Professor Wilheim thrust his hands into the pockets of his lab coat. ‘That is an interesti-‘ A puzzled frown crossed his face. He withdrew his right hand from the pocket. He was now holding about two-thirds of a cheese salad baguette in his hand. He sniffed it, prodded itContinue reading “Reality is Not What it Used to Be”

Existential Absurdity

Ultimately, it all depends on the way you approach it. Such negotiating techniques will depend on the initial circumstances. Ideally, you would wait for a more propitious time, but that is not always possible. Her moods are always fleeting and often capricious. So striking while the iron is hot is not always possible. I shouldContinue reading “Existential Absurdity”

Village Green Orgies And The English Summer

Obviously, during a typical British summer, especially a barbecue summer as faithfully promised by our weather forecasters, it is advisable not to try to hold an open-air orgy on the village green, certainly not without snorkels and flippers. Admittedly, an open-air orgy in snorkels and flippers does have a great deal to recommend it, especiallyContinue reading “Village Green Orgies And The English Summer”

On Knowing Where to Shove It

It was not easy. Although, it seldom is – as anyone who has been married for any length of time knows. Still, I did as she suggested and tried it. Perhaps there are some who go for that sort of thing. But, on the whole, I do not think I am one of them. Anyway,Continue reading “On Knowing Where to Shove It”

Not as We Know It

It was soft, gentle, almost like the echo of some fading half-forgotten dream left behind on the pillow of a warm summer morning. Berna felt it there, in her mind, waiting for her. It should have been comforting, a reassurance of something living, like a docile pet in the hands of a child. But…. SomethingContinue reading “Not as We Know It”

The Special Theory of Cheese

These days Spangle Teatray is probably the world’s most famous TV scientist. Both TV critics and viewers regard her hit BBC TV series on Norman Ninestein’s Special Theory of Cheese as the best science programme ever on TV. As one critic said, ‘it is the most comprehensive scientific description of the fundamental role cheese playsContinue reading “The Special Theory of Cheese”

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