Christmas Charity Appeal

The world’s most famous film star, Pumpkin Dropincentre, was yesterday announced as the face of a brand new charity. This new charity has been set up to help counter what has become one of the most serious problems of the modern age. As Dropincentre herself said at the launch of the new charity, ‘for farContinue reading “Christmas Charity Appeal”

UK Government Announces New Science Strategy

Yesterday, the UK Government announced that from next year it will begin closing all scientific research establishments and cut all science research funding for British universities and other research projects. Instead, the government has decided to put all their scientific research money into increasing use of tabloid article comments. As a government spokesperson said, ‘timeContinue reading “UK Government Announces New Science Strategy”

The New Literary Sensation

Pennib Trustfund is probably the leading figure in today’s literary scene. Her works have all the literary critics in academia and the media raving about them. Some have said she is the most significant literary figure to appear in the 21st century and that her name will live on into the next century, as longContinue reading “The New Literary Sensation”

Recent British Olympic Successes

Discount Slingback is probably the UK’s leading professional all-weather freestyle toast catcher. Slingback first came to notice and national acclaim when she won the silver medal at the 2007 Olympic Games in Newton Abbott. She earnt the medal with a stunning triple summersault, half pike grab of a slice of wholemeal toast as it ejectedContinue reading “Recent British Olympic Successes”

The Pandatoe Conundrum

Jumpstart Pandatoe first noticed the phenomenon that has come to bear her name at quite a young age. Back then, she used to pay attention to the news programmes whenever they came on TV, which was unusual in a youngster, as people only really start paying attention to the news when they are too oldContinue reading “The Pandatoe Conundrum”

Furryparts and Documentaries

Cucumber Furryparts is undoubtedly the UK’s leading expert on presenting TV documentaries. From history documentaries about the prehistoric world, right through to current affairs documentaries about the political crisis of the moment, she is there on screen giving apparently thoughtful insights direct to camera. Of course, as most people know Furryparts began her career asContinue reading “Furryparts and Documentaries”

Political Controversy in the UK

Tablecloth Swollenmember is probably the UK’s most prominent ordinary Member of Parliament. He has never held any of the high offices of state, or even any lowly cabinet position, despite being one of the longest serving Members of Parliament in Britain. As many former government ministers and political correspondents have pointed out, the UK hasContinue reading “Political Controversy in the UK”

Undercover Policing and Politics

Not long after the notorious MP Bribery Scandal of the late 1990s, a leading broadsheet newspaper revealed documents that proved there were some honest MPs in the Houses of Parliament. The newspaper claimed to have evidence that some MPs had even refused to be bribed, either by wealthy constituents or by large multinational businesses. SomeContinue reading “Undercover Policing and Politics”

The Fall of a Modern Celebrity

Welshrarebit Cheesetoastie became the world’s leading headline maker when she was still at a very early age. At that time, her management company had still not decided whether she was going to be a pop star, actress, TV reality star, model, politician or just someone famous for being famous. Her management company, FlOggingADeAdHOrse Inc., soonContinue reading “The Fall of a Modern Celebrity”

Social Media as an Olympic Sport

Plunge Stoatdangler became the UK’s leading social media complainer at a very young age when she noticed that there was something slightly amusing about a mislabelled Cup-a-Soup packet on the shelf at her local supermarket. Of course, as is essential these days, she immediately photographed it on her smartphone, wittily captioned it ‘OMG. I literallyContinue reading “Social Media as an Olympic Sport”

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