Theoretical Physics and the Good Tune Particle

Aardvark Hornsection is, of course, the world’s leading authority on what had become known as Tune Theory. This is an attempt by both theoretical and applied physicists to understand just why certain tunes get stuck in the head, sometimes irrespective of whether we like them or not. Of course, it was Einstein himself a physicistContinue reading “Theoretical Physics and the Good Tune Particle”

Dark Matter and the General Theory of Socks

News has emerged that scientists are on the verge of understanding one of the deepest mysteries of the universe. For a long time now, physicists, cosmologists and astronomers have long puzzled over the fact that a large amount of matter in the universe appears to be missing. They call this mysterious missing material dark matter.Continue reading “Dark Matter and the General Theory of Socks”

New at ABCtales: The Physics of Clothing Space

Plebiscite Umlaut is probably the world’s leading theoretical physicist in the rather specialised field of Theoretical Clothing Space. As we all know, matter is not as straightforward as ordinary everyday experience suggests. This is especially so when it comes to clothes. Heisenberg’s breakthrough with uncertainty theory showed it was either possible to know a particle’sContinue reading “New at ABCtales: The Physics of Clothing Space”

Shopping Space and Number Theory

These days, Dayglovest Parsleysauce is probably best known for a branch of higher mathematics known by the rather technical sounding Big Numbers Theory. In this theory, Parsleysauce claims there is at least one number that is greater than seventeen and that twelve, as he says, has a great deal of explaining to do. However, itContinue reading “Shopping Space and Number Theory”

Eroticism and Fresh Cream Cakes

These days Picklingvinegar Stoatadaptor is best known as one of the world’s leading exponents of the use of the cream cake in an erotic context. Obviously, we are all aware of the sensual possibilities of the cream horn or the apple turnover. But not all of us are thoroughly conversant with the erotic capabilities ofContinue reading “Eroticism and Fresh Cream Cakes”

The Physics of Poultry Perplexing

Espresso Planktondeath became the UK’s leading theoretical physicist at the relatively early age of 22, when he put forward a cutting-edge paper at the Royal Society. That paper proved, with the aid of several ground-breaking equations, that he had a much better hairstyle than the then leading British Physicist, Brian Cox. However, it was inContinue reading “The Physics of Poultry Perplexing”

The Many Worlds Theory of Shopping

Fuzzpedal Stoatparasol first came to prominence in the UK as a leading exponent of what later became known as the Many Worlds Theory of Shopping. For, back in the mid-twentieth century, Stoatparasol discovered that many shops do not have the item – or in the Special Many Shops Theory, items – you want to buy.Continue reading “The Many Worlds Theory of Shopping”

Vaguely Scientific-Sounding Bollocks

Isosceles Toadimplication is, of course, the world’s leading exponent of making vaguely scientific-sounding bollocks for the world’s media. Apparently, a great many, if not the majority, of consumers of the world’s media do like to see some vaguely scientific-sounding bollocks when they consume their daily dose of news as entertainment. Of course, in the pastContinue reading “Vaguely Scientific-Sounding Bollocks”

Celebrities in Space

Recently, a poll voted Podule Slingback as the celebrity most people would like to see launched into space on a one-way trip. However, such is the massive ego of such celebrity; he immediately claimed that he would be willing to give it a go. ‘I’m sure my many fans would dearly love for me toContinue reading “Celebrities in Space”

Breakthrough Imminent in Robotics

These may not be the droids you are looking for, but there have of late been some startling advances in the field of robotics. Robot vacuum cleaners, for example, have now around for a long time, taking a lot of the drudgery out of yet another household task. New advances in other areas of theContinue reading “Breakthrough Imminent in Robotics”

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