The Prisoner

It was only another day. There was nothing special about it. Mornings happened to Carla, often by surprise. She lay her head down on the pillow at night. Then without any warning, it was morning again. She had dreams, of course. Deep involved dreams that took her to lands and places she had never knownContinue reading “The Prisoner”

Sex Weasel Spanners

It is not often that I write about my extensive – and rather enviable – collection of Sex Weasel Spanners, and today will be no exception. Frankly, the use of Sex Weasel Spanners is a matter best left to us experts, and I don’t want to be held responsible for any misuse of these precisionContinue reading “Sex Weasel Spanners”

Not Unusual in Itself

Ryan didn’t believe it. That was not unusual in itself. There were a good many things Ryan didn’t believe in, such as astrology, healing crystals, ideologies, Gaia, religions, politics, ghosts, reality television, fate, and several other things he was too busy not to believe in at the moment. However, he did believe in an externalContinue reading “Not Unusual in Itself”

Secret Services

Sometimes it gets like that. But perhaps this is not the time or the place to discuss such matters, especially when they could be watching. After all, we know they are out there, don’t we? Watching our every move, recording everything we say… or do. You think that thing you do with the watermelon andContinue reading “Secret Services”

When Dreams Turn to Nightmares

The year fell into cold and darkness. The summer had been long and hot. It felt that something had changed as the late spring eased into early summer. Something new had grown between us in the strengthening summer light. But now the darker days were coming. She turned to me, as the nights grew colder.Continue reading “When Dreams Turn to Nightmares”

That Sort of Woman

Anyway, she was the sort of woman that other people called that sort of woman. Not to her face, of course. There were mutterings though, in pubs and cafes, at the school gates and in the supermarket checkout queues. Being thought that sort of woman was not in the least troubling to her. She consoledContinue reading “That Sort of Woman”

The Thing with the Tongue

There was a time… No, hang on… there were a couple of times. Obviously, I am not including those other times, because there would be far too many of those to recall. Hundreds… maybe thousands of times. After all, it has been a fair few years now, and you do get the hang of itContinue reading “The Thing with the Tongue”

The Latest Hollywood Outrage Scandal

It emerged last night that the film star, Limpid Handwringer is once more at the centre of a controversy about his latest film. Handwringer yet again stars in the latest film in the Bloody Gore series – Bloody Gore: Gratuitous Death Kill XII as the serial killer, Donald Naughtyperson, targeting the teenage girls of aContinue reading “The Latest Hollywood Outrage Scandal”

The Dawn of the Accordiani

Anyway, there they were, massed on the hillsides above us. Every warrior of the Accordiani tribe, each with their fearsome weapons strapped to their chests. Already in the early dawn light, we could hear the sounds of the warriors readying their battle accordions as they prepared to charge our positions. ‘Don’t worry, private,’ I saidContinue reading “The Dawn of the Accordiani”

The Inter-Village Orgy League Team Squad

Of course, applying the grommet to the seating point just under the offside mud flap of your oiled and naked left inside full-frontal forward wingback is quite an easy and straightforward piece of elementary orgy squad tactical maintenance. It is nowhere near as complex as a complete re-orienteering of your right midfield outside fondler afterContinue reading “The Inter-Village Orgy League Team Squad”

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