Grand Uncle Stagnant and the Summer of Love

Way back in the late 1960s Grand Uncle Stagnant was at the forefront (even when he was standing at the back of the crowd, due to him being such a proudly upstanding gentleman) of the Free Love movement. So keen was Grand Uncle Stagnant on Free Love, that he immediately stopped issuing invoices as soonContinue reading “Grand Uncle Stagnant and the Summer of Love”

Domestication of the Wild Hairstylist

Back in those far off days, enormous tribes of hairstylists would sweep majestically over the wide-open plains of this ancient and noble land, often scaring the Romans and frightening the Vikings. Later, no Middle-Age city-centre was safe from the late night deprecations of these fearsome savages and many a medieval innocent shopping trolley was sacrificedContinue reading “Domestication of the Wild Hairstylist”

Them Again

Anyway… Or not. So, well… here we are then. Are you sitting comfortably? Not that I’m all that interested really. After all, I wrote this quite a while before you decided on your current seating arrangements, and I am off now doing something exciting with a bevy of nubile young research assistants on an exoticContinue reading “Them Again”

Good News In Rural Affairs

Some good news in rural affairs, for once. At long last it seems that the Forestry Commission of Great Britain has decided that it is going to reintroduce breeding pairs of banjos back into the wild in some specially selected forests and woodland areas. It has been many years, maybe a century or more, sinceContinue reading “Good News In Rural Affairs”

Well, Actually Not Very Much in Particular

Spamblock Damsongoat is now best known throughout the world as a leading proponent of… well, actually not very much in particular. With the ever-increasing amount of TV channels, websites, podcasts, e-books and other forms of media outlets, it is becoming increasingly apparent that the world is running out of people who know stuff. The worldContinue reading “Well, Actually Not Very Much in Particular”

Secret Services

Sometimes it gets like that. But perhaps this is not the time or the place to discuss such matters, especially when they could be watching. After all, we know they are out there, don’t we? Watching our every move, recording everything we say… or do. You think that thing you do with the watermelon andContinue reading “Secret Services”

500 Words

It looked like a nice place to start. Finta looked around. It was a new blank page, not even a paragraph yet. There was a chance it could turn into an interesting story. Providing he didn’t get distracted again. She’d been here in a similar situation only a few days ago, preparing to start aContinue reading “500 Words”

That Sort of Woman

Anyway, she was the sort of woman that other people called that sort of woman. Not to her face, of course. There were mutterings though, in pubs and cafes, at the school gates and in the supermarket checkout queues. Being thought that sort of woman was not in the least troubling to her. She consoledContinue reading “That Sort of Woman”

The Latest Hollywood Outrage Scandal

It emerged last night that the film star, Limpid Handwringer is once more at the centre of a controversy about his latest film. Handwringer yet again stars in the latest film in the Bloody Gore series – Bloody Gore: Gratuitous Death Kill XII as the serial killer, Donald Naughtyperson, targeting the teenage girls of aContinue reading “The Latest Hollywood Outrage Scandal”

Juggling Balls: Episode 7

Go to Episode 1   Chapter 6 – Part 2   Martin picked up the juggling balls as Lisa stuck her tongue out at Sam. ‘Daft?’ she said. Sam shrugged. ‘Sorry.’ ‘Do you think it matters which ball goes in which hole?’ Martin inspected the balls. Sam shrugged again. ’They all look the same.’ MartinContinue reading “Juggling Balls: Episode 7”

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