Fiction Rights

She stood in the middle of the room and reached up to the fastener on the back of her dress. She let it fall to the floor. Sher took a bra strap in her hand, easing it from her shou- ‘Hang on!’ ‘What?’ She pulled the bra strap back over her shoulder and picked theContinue reading “Fiction Rights”

A Hand to Hold

I remember the first time. She needed a hand to hold. It was one of those dark dreams where she was alone in a strange and dangerous place of shadows and ominous darkness. She dreamt of walking there, not knowing what lurked around the next hidden corner, or what hid in the shadows that hauntedContinue reading “A Hand to Hold”

Sporting Outrage

These days being offended is fast becoming the most popular competitive international sport. It takes years of effort and dedication to get to the top in what has become a very challenging sport. These days it is not enough to be outraged, you have to be outraged to an international standard. Of course, it isContinue reading “Sporting Outrage”

The Away Strip

On the whole, it is probably not advisable. After all, she does tend towards having a bit of a temper, especially when the football overruns and she is denied her weekly dosage of televisual hirsute scything. So, any attempt to discuss the disallowed goal in the dying seconds of the second half of extra timeContinue reading “The Away Strip”

Opening with the Weather

It was one of those opening scenes that begin with a description of the weather. Well, it would have done if the writer had decided what it was he was going to write. He hadn’t had a decent idea for weeks… months. The blank pages had stared back at him each morning, daring him toContinue reading “Opening with the Weather”

Fashionable Sexual Perversions

Nowadays we are – or have to pretend to be – rather blasé about sexual perversions. In days gone by, such outrageously obscene perversions such as naked string-length comparison, donkey-basting or even full-frontal accountancy would only be spoken of by consenting adults, and then only in a whisper during the darkest  hours of the televisionContinue reading “Fashionable Sexual Perversions”

Putting Your Shirt on It

However, if she is reading, it is better to leave her undisturbed, especially if she is reading one of those books apparently about a muscular young man desperately in need of a shirt. Just why there are so many young men – apparently both historically and in the contemporary world – who seem to lackContinue reading “Putting Your Shirt on It”

No More Heroes

‘Hang on.’ ‘What now?’ ‘What about my backstory?’ ‘Your… what?’ ‘My backstory. How did I get here?’ ‘You came through that door. You ought to remember, it was only a paragraph ago.’ Tara, the protagonist sighed. ‘No not that. My character, how did I get to become the world’s greatest secret agent?’ ‘Do we haveContinue reading “No More Heroes”

The Victorians and Black Pudding

Of course, back then everyone knew the name of Stirruppump ‘Nickname’ Paradiddle. Nickname, as he was always known in the media of the day was one of the Victorian era’s greatest adventurers and explorers. In an era known for its men – and scandalously, on occasions, women – willing to give it all up andContinue reading “The Victorians and Black Pudding”

More Savoury Matters

Marmosets in the wainscoting can be quite an awkward thing to have to deal with, but – fortunately – it is not often a problem that besets rural folk to the extent it seems to plague city dwellers. No, out here in the wild untamed lands far beyond any supermarket car park, where city dwellersContinue reading “More Savoury Matters”

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