Domestication of the Wild Hairstylist

Back in those far off days, enormous tribes of hairstylists would sweep majestically over the wide-open plains of this ancient and noble land, often scaring the Romans and frightening the Vikings. Later, no Middle-Age city-centre was safe from the late night deprecations of these fearsome savages and many a medieval innocent shopping trolley was sacrificedContinue reading “Domestication of the Wild Hairstylist”

Them Again

Anyway… Or not. So, well… here we are then. Are you sitting comfortably? Not that I’m all that interested really. After all, I wrote this quite a while before you decided on your current seating arrangements, and I am off now doing something exciting with a bevy of nubile young research assistants on an exoticContinue reading “Them Again”

Secret Services

Sometimes it gets like that. But perhaps this is not the time or the place to discuss such matters, especially when they could be watching. After all, we know they are out there, don’t we? Watching our every move, recording everything we say… or do. You think that thing you do with the watermelon andContinue reading “Secret Services”

Premium Membership

It goes without saying that a public forum such as this is no place to discuss such intimate matters. Since it does go without saying, we won’t bother saying it and get straight down to the filth… er… the matter in question. There is no need for embarrassment, after all, no-one here knows your realContinue reading “Premium Membership”

A Politics-Free World

Obviously, it is not that obvious… at least not from the most usual angles. After all, discretion is guaranteed in the adverts, and if you can’t trust the advertising industry, whom can you trust? Certainly not politicians, that is obvious from the marketing of this product. After all, who amongst us hasn’t wished there wouldContinue reading “A Politics-Free World”

Public Intercourse

Obviously, it is not meant to look like that. At least not in this light. But you know what they are like once they take a dislike to something. Apparently, it was not only the wrong shape, but the wrong shade of purple too. Now it is even more of a wrong shape. And evenContinue reading “Public Intercourse”

The Victorians and Black Pudding

Of course, back then everyone knew the name of Stirruppump ‘Nickname’ Paradiddle. Nickname, as he was always known in the media of the day was one of the Victorian era’s greatest adventurers and explorers. In an era known for its men – and scandalously, on occasions, women – willing to give it all up andContinue reading “The Victorians and Black Pudding”

The Rise of the Robots

It may look like that in a certain light, but then what do you expect these days? They – whoever they are – say you get what you pay for, and I’m certainly paying for it now. As you are too… probably, if you made the same mistake. After all, the adverts promised a life-changingContinue reading “The Rise of the Robots”

Little Frigging Women’s Royal Volunteer Perversion Services

  Recent events have brought along with them a new sense of austerity in this great country of ours, which even we here in Little Frigging have not let go by unnoticed. So, the ladies of the Little Frigging Women’s Royal Volunteer Perversion Services (WRVPS) have been using their last few meetings to discuss variousContinue reading “Little Frigging Women’s Royal Volunteer Perversion Services”

Offendatron 5000

These days it is growing increasingly difficult for people to keep up with social media, especially if they have accounts on more than one platform. For most people, this is not much of a problem as most of their social media consists of liking cat pictures and standing in front of their own camera inContinue reading “Offendatron 5000”

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