Sex Weasel Spanners

It is not often that I write about my extensive – and rather enviable – collection of Sex Weasel Spanners, and today will be no exception. Frankly, the use of Sex Weasel Spanners is a matter best left to us experts, and I don’t want to be held responsible for any misuse of these precisionContinue reading “Sex Weasel Spanners”

That Sort of Woman

Anyway, she was the sort of woman that other people called that sort of woman. Not to her face, of course. There were mutterings though, in pubs and cafes, at the school gates and in the supermarket checkout queues. Being thought that sort of woman was not in the least troubling to her. She consoledContinue reading “That Sort of Woman”

The Inter-Village Orgy League Team Squad

Of course, applying the grommet to the seating point just under the offside mud flap of your oiled and naked left inside full-frontal forward wingback is quite an easy and straightforward piece of elementary orgy squad tactical maintenance. It is nowhere near as complex as a complete re-orienteering of your right midfield outside fondler afterContinue reading “The Inter-Village Orgy League Team Squad”

Cold Winter Thermal Fetish Gear

Now, as the cold winter weather of our global warming continues I am sure that you must all have already made full use of your thermal fetish gear, fur-lined penile restraints, cold weather nipple clamps and woollen wallaby grouting aprons. Also, you should also make sure your sex spatulas are kept warm and at optimumContinue reading “Cold Winter Thermal Fetish Gear”

Grand Uncle Stagnant and Philosophy

Let me take you by the throat and lead you through the streets of Little Frigging, where later this evening we will see Grand Uncle Stagnant taking the scenic route home from The Pervert’s Appendage. His route usually takes him via some of the more verdant of the hedges in the vicinity as well asContinue reading “Grand Uncle Stagnant and Philosophy”

Blowin’ Free

Well now, as it happens today sees the first day of Little Frigging’s Annual Village Free Fondle Week. All the denizens of Little Frigging have decked themselves out in their traditional free-fondling outfits and fondling mittens, and we have all been furiously polishing our sex spatulas in readiness. Of course, these days these traditional ruralContinue reading “Blowin’ Free”

Allotment Perversions – A Primer

For those of you who like to make use of your dibber and hoe, there is chance aplenty to get much more out of it by getting involved in allotment perversions. For those that enjoy a courgette, or – in more advanced situations – a marrow, apparently there is nothing quite like taking yourself inContinue reading “Allotment Perversions – A Primer”

University Fees and the Perverse Arts and Sciences

There is still much talk of late about University course fees and who should pay them and how much they should be. Obviously, we at the University of Little Frigging (formerly the cow shed at Little Frigging Manor Farm) are more than keen that the students should pay as much as we can get outContinue reading “University Fees and the Perverse Arts and Sciences”

Medieval Woodland Perversions

Of course, many of you may be keen to learn more about the use of woodland perversions in a historical context. Rather than disabuse you of this notion, I thought it would be far easier for all concerned if I shed a little light upon a specific period of historical interest for your edification. Therefore,Continue reading “Medieval Woodland Perversions”

It’s a Job

Sometimes there are too many alternatives, too many ways to go. Possibilities multiply upon themselves with each potential choice. Sometimes there is no best alternative and it is a choice between the least worst options. Sometimes it happens that the choice offered is really no choice at all. Rella knew all this, and still sheContinue reading “It’s a Job”

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