On Brussels Sprouts and Other Erotica

Concerning the Brussels sprouts of our fevered erotic imaginings and longings, it is not hard – although it soon will be – to see why such sexually provocative brassicas have such a firm grip on our erotic desires and urgings. The sprout – far from just the hideous vegetable of childhood mealtimes – does –Continue reading “On Brussels Sprouts and Other Erotica”

Arts Council Grant

I come* hot foot and moist in the groin area from a meeting with our local Arts Council representative, Phyllis Styne. She has – it seems – managed to procure a grant for our village of Little Frigging in the Wold to stage an annual Traditional Rural Perversions Fair under the auspices of the ArtsContinue reading “Arts Council Grant”

Woodland Rites

Clutching our sex spanners close to our palpitating chests, we wormed our way through the entangling undergrowth towards the very edge of the clearing. There we waited, tense and trepidatious, as the scene unfolded before us. Of course, the sheep were there, freshly dipped in exotic unguents and resplendent in their various fetish gear, glintingContinue reading “Woodland Rites”

A Literary Imagination

Another blank page. What was she supposed to do now? This time there was no safety net of an outline. All Glenna could see was that blank whiteness spreading down the page from the end of the sentence where she stood wondering what would happen next. It wasn’t much of a sentence, barely setting outContinue reading “A Literary Imagination”

Only Seventeen… Again

There is no need to be discouraged. Although, the experiments so far have not yielded quite the results we were hoping for, these are still early days. After all, I found the book by accident. I could see the book was far older than its dust jacket and that it was not a copy ofContinue reading “Only Seventeen… Again”

When the Pipe Leaks

However…. In these situations, it is advisable not to jump to what appears to be the obvious conclusion. After all, there could be a more reasonable explanation. Obviously, as she said at the time, when you call in a plumber to deal with a water leak, he is bound to get wet. So it doesContinue reading “When the Pipe Leaks”

Maturity and Sexual Desire – A Guide

Well, to be honest – despite this being a blog post –  it is not all that often at all, not these days. I suppose it is inevitable in a way; as you grow older that sort of thing becomes, well, not exactly uninteresting. You do though begin to wonder if it is worth theContinue reading “Maturity and Sexual Desire – A Guide”

Size is Important

Even so, there is a lot to be said for the cautious approach, especially if she is engrossed in one of her favourite TV programmes at the time. There is – I’ve found – nothing more disconcerting to the lady of the household than interrupting her when she is engrossed. Particularly if the aforementioned dramaContinue reading “Size is Important”

Little Frigging All-Nude Mass Pogo Stick Display Team

The Little Frigging All-Nude Mass Pogo Stick display team are preparing themselves for an exhibition of pogo-stick based perversions at the UK Annual Rude And Naughty Exhibition at the O2 Arena, in London at the end of this month. As you probably know, if you indulge in a frequent perusal of my organ whenever IContinue reading “Little Frigging All-Nude Mass Pogo Stick Display Team”

The Sensual Mathematician

It is usually not until after the age of puberty that we realise just how sexy the number 7 is. After that, it seems we become obsessed with mathematics and seeing numbers in all their naked glory. Back in the days before the internet how many of us used to lie under the bedcovers atContinue reading “The Sensual Mathematician”

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