Hanging Around Until – A novel

Set during the mid-1980s, Hanging Around Until is the story of Paul Carr, who, at the age of 28, decides to become a mature student at a North-Eastern university in the hope that an education will help give a direction to his life. On arriving at the university Paul discovers he is to share aContinue reading “Hanging Around Until – A novel”

The Perfect Woman

She had all the wine gums any one man could desire, and the casual attitude to nudity and deep curiosity about some of the more advanced sexual deviations that almost made it worth waking up for in the mornings, even in February. She could drink like a fish and swim like an inebriated dolphin, whichContinue reading “The Perfect Woman”

The Sensual Arts Of The Secret Accountancy Sect Exposed

Well, here we are at the very desk where Keypad Balancesheet first began to codify the secret sexual arts of the mysterious accountancy sect. Of course, everyone these days, thanks to the countless exposes in print and on film knows that the accountancy sect developed secret awesome sexual powers that made them not only irresistibleContinue reading “The Sensual Arts Of The Secret Accountancy Sect Exposed”

Prostitute: My Secret Shame

[The squalid den of iniquity where the alleged ‘MPs’ go about their sordid trade] Yesterday, a tearful £70 an hour prostitute wept as she finally admitted – to her shame – that she was married to a politician, saying: I really hope this doesn’t put the punters off, knowing that I’ve had first-hand experience ofContinue reading “Prostitute: My Secret Shame”

Never The Right Time

Sometimes, it seems that there is not much to say about anything, but she goes ahead and says something anyway, usually when you have just got everything lined up nicely and you are ready to start your run up towards the day’s first slice of toast. It is always a time of ominous foreboding whenContinue reading “Never The Right Time”


We are all familiar from our gardens of the well-known tits, great tits, marsh tits, yellow breasted tits, etc and not forgetting those famous blue tits, a common sight in our gardens when the weather turns chilly. Those that go out into the countryside may also have – on occasion – glimpsed a booby orContinue reading “Countryphile”

Ofcom Report: Britons Multitasking Until Their Wrists Ache

According to a report issued by the media busybody Ofcom, the average British male now spends half his life wanking off to porn on a wide variety of devices. As an Ofcom spokesman said, once he took his hand from his underpants and turned off his mobile: For example back in the 1980s a blokeContinue reading “Ofcom Report: Britons Multitasking Until Their Wrists Ache”

The Return Of The Sexual Peccadillo

<img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_UpnppGz84mA/TGkabeOzaSI/AAAAAAAABzA/sESxIbh1tBI/videof58d70dafe28%5B4%5D.jpg?imgmax=800&quot; style="border-style: none" galleryimg="no" onload="var downlevelDiv = document.getElementById('b7a0f497-1a6b-4ff0-b7e4-108547d0dc5d'); downlevelDiv.innerHTML = " “;” alt=””>   For several hundred years now, it has been assumed that – like its close cousin, the dodo – that the wild Frankly Not Very Well Crested at All (or, Sexual) Peccadillo was extinct. However, deep in the previously unexplored junglesContinue reading “The Return Of The Sexual Peccadillo”

The UK’s Leading Male Adult Film Superstar

Donkeydong Sheepworrier is probably the UK’s leading adult film male superstar. He first shot (several times in the film) to fame in that classic of the Adult film genre, Debbie Does Bilston. These days the film is regarded as a classic, a subtle critique of Thatcher’s Britain where the eponymous Debbie, played by the thenContinue reading “The UK’s Leading Male Adult Film Superstar”

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