Transgressions Of The Social Norms

There are times when disciplinary measures do have to be taken against certain denizens of Little Frigging who have – in some way – transgressed the social Norms, or who have not behaved in the fully upstanding way one would expect of one’s friends and acquaintances. Now, for serious transgressions of the law we –Continue reading “Transgressions Of The Social Norms”

The Special Cupboard

But, obviously… not that one. It is best putting that one back in the special cupboard until at least your inner thigh stops throbbing so much and there is something slightly less engaging for her to watch on the TV. After all, it is the sort of thing that needs each participant’s full attention ifContinue reading “The Special Cupboard”

The Prisoner

It was only another day. There was nothing special about it. Mornings happened to Carla, often by surprise. She lay her head down on the pillow at night. Then without any warning, it was morning again. She had dreams, of course. Deep involved dreams that took her to lands and places she had never knownContinue reading “The Prisoner”

Sex Weasel Spanners

It is not often that I write about my extensive – and rather enviable – collection of Sex Weasel Spanners, and today will be no exception. Frankly, the use of Sex Weasel Spanners is a matter best left to us experts, and I don’t want to be held responsible for any misuse of these precisionContinue reading “Sex Weasel Spanners”

Finding the Words

Finding the words doesn’t come easy. Often the words are not where you left them. You could’ve left them sleeping on the pillow next to her warm dreams. You could have left them there a long time ago, back when the times were very different to now. They could be on some foreign shore orContinue reading “Finding the Words”

That Sort of Woman

Anyway, she was the sort of woman that other people called that sort of woman. Not to her face, of course. There were mutterings though, in pubs and cafes, at the school gates and in the supermarket checkout queues. Being thought that sort of woman was not in the least troubling to her. She consoledContinue reading “That Sort of Woman”

The Latest Hollywood Outrage Scandal

It emerged last night that the film star, Limpid Handwringer is once more at the centre of a controversy about his latest film. Handwringer yet again stars in the latest film in the Bloody Gore series – Bloody Gore: Gratuitous Death Kill XII as the serial killer, Donald Naughtyperson, targeting the teenage girls of aContinue reading “The Latest Hollywood Outrage Scandal”

The Dawn of the Accordiani

Anyway, there they were, massed on the hillsides above us. Every warrior of the Accordiani tribe, each with their fearsome weapons strapped to their chests. Already in the early dawn light, we could hear the sounds of the warriors readying their battle accordions as they prepared to charge our positions. ‘Don’t worry, private,’ I saidContinue reading “The Dawn of the Accordiani”

The Inter-Village Orgy League Team Squad

Of course, applying the grommet to the seating point just under the offside mud flap of your oiled and naked left inside full-frontal forward wingback is quite an easy and straightforward piece of elementary orgy squad tactical maintenance. It is nowhere near as complex as a complete re-orienteering of your right midfield outside fondler afterContinue reading “The Inter-Village Orgy League Team Squad”

Keeping it All in Order

But not necessarily in that order. Obviously, you do need some kind of organisational system or the whole thing gets rapidly out of control. The simplest approach is, of course, alphabetical order. Putting the aardvark next to the accordion does make sense in that context. But would you ideally want to have the risk ofContinue reading “Keeping it All in Order”

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