The Pickle-Recognition Wall Chart

  Obviously, by now you should all have received your official government-issued and EU-mandated Pickle-Recognition wall chart which must – by EU law – be displayed in every room where there is a possibility of unrecognised pickles being dispensed. It is claimed, mainly by EU bureaucrats, that this will lead to a far greater efficiencyContinue reading “The Pickle-Recognition Wall Chart”

Working Times Directives and the Undead

Ah, but remember your precious tin of blessed golden syrup may not necessarily protect you against all the devils, demons, estate agents, lawyers and other unholy manifestations of evil that the masses ranks of the ungodly may hurl at you, at least until it is time for a tea-break anyway. Even the minions of evilContinue reading “Working Times Directives and the Undead”

EU Equality Legislation Extended

Now the donkey may look somewhat askance at the dubious nature of your tax returns, but that is the danger of employing a donkey in your auditing department. However, recent research carried out by the Monkey Auditing Bureau has proved – many say conclusively – that monkeys are – overall – rather good at accountancy,Continue reading “EU Equality Legislation Extended”

The Unauthorised Use of a Banjo

Okay, so we know why we are here, and – I see – you have brought the banjo, just in case. That is despite the fact that we have warned you about the new EU-wide Health and Safety directive that outlaws the unauthorised use of a banjo (or other similar resonating stringed instrument) within aContinue reading “The Unauthorised Use of a Banjo”

EU ‘Needs Your Money Now!’ Plea

A shocked Europe last night discovered that its MEPs, and other members of the EU gravy-train, were suffering from extreme poverty and urgently needed even more of their people’s money if they are not to stave of the tragedy of the EU not being able to meet the vital expenses claims of its MEPs. InContinue reading “EU ‘Needs Your Money Now!’ Plea”

Science And Maths Teaching Needs Improvement

An independent report by the Science and Learning Expert Group has suggested that the teaching of science and maths in the UK needs to be improved quite significantly. However, a spokesman for the government’s rather tweely-named Department for Children, Schools and Families, said: Regarding the teaching of maths, could I just point out that withContinue reading “Science And Maths Teaching Needs Improvement”

Further EU Integration

There are now several Small Independent Donkey Hopscotch Unawareness Inspectorates now setting themselves up in readiness for the new EU ruling which will mandate compulsory hopscotch provision for donkeys throughout the EU. Of course, it goes without saying that, unlike several other European countries, such as Belgium and… er… some of the other ones, theContinue reading “Further EU Integration”

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