Well, Actually Not Very Much in Particular

Spamblock Damsongoat is now best known throughout the world as a leading proponent of… well, actually not very much in particular. With the ever-increasing amount of TV channels, websites, podcasts, e-books and other forms of media outlets, it is becoming increasingly apparent that the world is running out of people who know stuff. The worldContinue reading “Well, Actually Not Very Much in Particular”

The Prize Winner

Well… there you have it. At least providing you managed to get your application form entered in time. And if you were one of the lucky ones, selected at random to go through to the second stage. And if you completed the assault course in under 15 minutes while carrying the elderly relative in aContinue reading “The Prize Winner”

Plankton Thermocline’s Underwater Adventures

Plankton Thermocline was one of the late 20th century’s greatest explorers. We all remember watching Plankton Thermocline’s Underwater Adventures. This series was one of the first to show the delights and wonders of the underwater world in full colour on our TVs. With his custom designed wellies, Thermocline splashed around in some of the deepestContinue reading “Plankton Thermocline’s Underwater Adventures”

Goat, Yogurt and Mildred Time

Why is there a goat? Oh, and Mildred, of course. It just so happens that there is a large tub of natural yogurt on the shelf too. You know what that means? YES! It is Goat, Yogurt and Mildred Time! A couple of years ago, it was getting obvious even to the TV programme planners,Continue reading “Goat, Yogurt and Mildred Time”

The Magic of Television

Penumbra Psychollama is the world’s leading exponent of the art of understanding just why people all around the world watch so much junk TV. She first began her studies at a very young age watching cheap mass produced made-for-TV cartoons on a children’s channel at the age of four. This she claims enabled her toContinue reading “The Magic of Television”

Size is Important

Even so, there is a lot to be said for the cautious approach, especially if she is engrossed in one of her favourite TV programmes at the time. There is – I’ve found – nothing more disconcerting to the lady of the household than interrupting her when she is engrossed. Particularly if the aforementioned dramaContinue reading “Size is Important”

The Great Trailer Mystery

Everyone knows that trailers ruin TV programmes by showing all the good bits and destroying narrative tension. For so long now, people have wondered why this happens, despite the number of times viewers have complained about both showing trailers and the ubiquity of them. Many trailers only show all the good bits – for example,Continue reading “The Great Trailer Mystery”

The Naked Gardener

Now world-famous for trimming her bush live on BBC3.142’s Naked Gardening, Herbaceous Seedling has become a horticultural media sensation. Countless millions of viewers have watched her uncanny prowess with handling a dibber on web video Sites. Her naked gardening DVDs have outsold not only the top-selling porn DVDs but also the recordings of semi-naked actorsContinue reading “The Naked Gardener”

Olympic Level Cheese Ignoring

Spigot Tremblehammer is probably the world’s leading exponent of the ancient art of cheese ignoring. Although there are still several professional and semi-professional cheese ignoring leagues throughout the world (and Canada), many sports fans often overlook it. However, all that is set to change now that the Olympic committee has confirmed that cheese ignoring willContinue reading “Olympic Level Cheese Ignoring”

The Pandatoe Conundrum

Jumpstart Pandatoe first noticed the phenomenon that has come to bear her name at quite a young age. Back then, she used to pay attention to the news programmes whenever they came on TV, which was unusual in a youngster, as people only really start paying attention to the news when they are too oldContinue reading “The Pandatoe Conundrum”

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