The Stoatglobules Palpitator

Pendulum Stoatglobules is best known for her invention of one of the greatest boons to modern Western civilisation. As we all know, the Stoatglobules Palpitator has brought many a smile to women’s faces all over the Western world. Thus, it has done much to halt the decline in long-term relationships and even marriage that isContinue reading “The Stoatglobules Palpitator”

Most Inventive Death in a TV Drama Award

Dishmop Thermocouple first appeared on cinema screens as one of the most significant naked corpses in motion picture history. Her role in Kill Them until They are Very Dead VII, catapulted her to international stardom. After that, she was the most in-demand naked corpse in cinema and on TV for several years. However, it wasContinue reading “Most Inventive Death in a TV Drama Award”

The Rude and Naughty – Both Theoretical and Applied

Semblance Wombatdesign is best known as the world’s leading expert on the Rude and Naughty at both theoretical and applied levels. Her General Theory of Kink is often cited as the groundbreaking work in the field, especially in the field (or allotment) where the use of the dibber for erotic purposes has now become theContinue reading “The Rude and Naughty – Both Theoretical and Applied”

Jason Bosomthrobber and the Cornish Pasty Mine Disasters

These days, Todger SlightlyInclined is probably best known as the actor who plays the part of Jasper Bosomthrobber, the struggling owner of a Cornish pasty mine, in the TV adaptation of Nigella Twee’s historical novel of the same name. The eponymous novel is the first in a series of 256 novels. The series charts theContinue reading “Jason Bosomthrobber and the Cornish Pasty Mine Disasters”

New at ABCtales: Britain’s Sports Personality of the Year

It was announced earlier today that the celebrity philosopher, Pensive Dropgoal, is to be the new Professor of Hot Beverage Studies at the University of Evesham. Of course, these days philosophy is a glamorous and highly paid profession. Devoted crowds of fans turn out in their hundreds of thousands, filling stadiums throughout the world, toContinue reading “New at ABCtales: Britain’s Sports Personality of the Year”

The 24-Hour Emergency Amusing Anecdote Service

Slicedwhite Filingcabinet is probably best known these days as the UK’s leading Interesting Person. For some years, he has been a frequent guest on those TV show that have regular guests, mainly as a way of deflecting attention away from the inanities of the programme’s host(s). Of course, these guest slots are usually filled withContinue reading “The 24-Hour Emergency Amusing Anecdote Service”

That Bloke Off the Telly Who was in That Thing with Whatshisname

Pushbike Tribblecheese is probably best known these days as ‘That bloke off the telly who was in that thing with whatshisname.’ It takes many years of dedication to the art of acting to achieve such an accolade, especially in these multichannel times. Although, most TV programmes these days seem to be cheaply made tat aboutContinue reading “That Bloke Off the Telly Who was in That Thing with Whatshisname”

New at ABCtales: The Sensual Kitchen

Of course, Rupertina Dumplings was one of the first in the country to try it. She has since her early days as a TV chef always had a keen interest in the erotic possibilities inherent in the everyday world. For instance, Dumplings was the first to take the erotic possibilities of the egg-whisk seriously. This,Continue reading “New at ABCtales: The Sensual Kitchen”

The 1970s and the Rise of Erotic Knitting

Puddleduck Noflyzone initially came to prominence with her first TV series for the BBC. Noflyzone’s Sexy Knitting Hour was a staple of 1970s early evening TV and one of the first colour Television programmes to feature full frontal knitwear in an erotic context. Of course, back then multi-coloured jumpers, sweaters, cardigans and – of courseContinue reading “The 1970s and the Rise of Erotic Knitting”

The Art of the Celebrity Interview

Pendulous Dingleberries is these days best known for his ability to interview celebrities without falling asleep. Or even admitting that he has heard their various over-rehearsed spontaneous asides and witty anecdotes far too many times before. These days the publicity circuit for celebrities to flog their latest – or latest repackaging of their older –Continue reading “The Art of the Celebrity Interview”

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