An Actor’s Life

Spendapenny Pissedup is probably the 20th century’s most well-known heavy-drinking actor, famous for his 274 day drinking spree in Las Vegas back in 1978 when he drank three casinos dry, left Oliver Reed and Keith Richards both unconscious under a table in the Grand Hotel, won a 15 round boxing match with a John DeereContinue reading “An Actor’s Life”

Countryphile

We are all familiar from our gardens of the well-known tits, great tits, marsh tits, yellow breasted tits, etc and not forgetting those famous blue tits, a common sight in our gardens when the weather turns chilly. Those that go out into the countryside may also have – on occasion – glimpsed a booby orContinue reading “Countryphile”

The Return Of The Sexual Peccadillo

<img src="http://lh6.ggpht.com/_UpnppGz84mA/TGkabeOzaSI/AAAAAAAABzA/sESxIbh1tBI/videof58d70dafe28%5B4%5D.jpg?imgmax=800&quot; style="border-style: none" galleryimg="no" onload="var downlevelDiv = document.getElementById('b7a0f497-1a6b-4ff0-b7e4-108547d0dc5d'); downlevelDiv.innerHTML = " “;” alt=””>   For several hundred years now, it has been assumed that – like its close cousin, the dodo – that the wild Frankly Not Very Well Crested at All (or, Sexual) Peccadillo was extinct. However, deep in the previously unexplored junglesContinue reading “The Return Of The Sexual Peccadillo”

Banjo Twitching In The Bushes

Banjo Duckponderer is probably Britain’s most famous birdwatcher, becoming one of the UK’s most unlikely celebrities through the surprise ratings success of his early evening TV nature programme – Banjo Twitching In The Bushes – where he lurks in bushes the length and breadth of the UK in the hoped of spotting some of Britain’sContinue reading “Banjo Twitching In The Bushes”

Politically-Aware Stoats

Sometimes it may seem as though every single stoat in West Shropshire is sniggering at you for being on the political Left. This – indeed – may very well be the case, but it is – we feel – more incumbent on you as the jape-ee to establish the meaning and the context of theContinue reading “Politically-Aware Stoats”

World Cup Crowd Panic

There were chaotic scenes when the crowd at yesterday afternoon’s World Cup fixture in South Africa were assaulted by an immense swarm of very angry giant wasps, which descended on the crowd and began attacking everyone in sight, seemingly for no reason whatsoever. The whole crowd fled from the stadium in panic, chased by theContinue reading “World Cup Crowd Panic”

Celebrity Extreme Gardening

Perusal Travelbrochure is now credited with bringing about the revival of what had seemingly become a moribund TV genre with her introduction to the early evening schedules of Celebrity Extreme Gardening. Most TV critics seem to agree that it was the sight of Mammary Extravagance, formerly a background character in some of the UK’s mostContinue reading “Celebrity Extreme Gardening”

Scientists Warn Of Biodiversity Threat

It was revealed today that some scientists are increasingly concerned by the threat to biodiversity caused by certain species dying out. As one political scientist said yesterday: With their increasingly plummeting poll ratings, it seems that the traditional Labour voter could soon be entirely extinct in the UK. Some political scientists cite the loss ofContinue reading “Scientists Warn Of Biodiversity Threat”

The Female/Male Stoat Beguiler

Embrocation Disingenuous first became professor of Semi-Beguiled Stoat Contemplation in 1968. Back in those heady days of the late sixties, it seemed that the Summer of Love could almost belong to anyone with a tattered paperback of Blake’s Complete works, a brace of Doors albums, a 10% deposit and, of course, a semi-beguiled stoat. But,Continue reading “The Female/Male Stoat Beguiler”

On The Choosing Of Headgear For Penguins

As you probably know the WWF has proclaimed that today is to be the first ever Worldwide Donate A Hat To A Penguin Day. With the ever-worsening (they say)threat from global cooli… global warmi… er… climate chang… climate doing something or other that may or may not be all that unusual or not we can’tContinue reading “On The Choosing Of Headgear For Penguins”

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