The Dawn of the Accordiani

Anyway, there they were, massed on the hillsides above us. Every warrior of the Accordiani tribe, each with their fearsome weapons strapped to their chests. Already in the early dawn light, we could hear the sounds of the warriors readying their battle accordions as they prepared to charge our positions. ‘Don’t worry, private,’ I saidContinue reading “The Dawn of the Accordiani”

The Ballad of the String Vest Kid

It was the first Tuesday of the week when the String Vest Kid rode into town. Everyone stopped what they were doing to watch him. Even Dirty Betty, over at the saloon, saw him arrive and she was being paid double to do that thing with a banjo on her knee that all the oldContinue reading “The Ballad of the String Vest Kid”

The Music of the Spheres

As we all know Tapioca Draingurgle shot to fame last year when her song Explaining Eigenvalues shot to the top of YouTube’s most coveted and hotly contested Mathematical Concepts Set to Song by Attractively Underdressed Young Ladies category. It easily beat the next song on the most watched list by over 1 000 000 downloads,Continue reading “The Music of the Spheres”

Travelling Man

I wandered into town carrying my guitar and a handful of songs. As I left the last town – I’d already forgotten its name – there was talk of bandits on the road. But they had not bothered me. Travelling musicians don’t get much trouble from bandits. They know we are poorer than they are,Continue reading “Travelling Man”

The World’s Greatest Living Rock Star

Goatchin Trebleclef is probably the world’s most famous sill semi-coherent rock star. As lead singer/lead guitarist with 70s supergroup Turgid Braindribble Trebleclef was once regarded as the leading cultural figure of that decade. Mainly for his over-tight jeans and his powerful rock voice, which could – it was alleged – knock down an industrial chimneyContinue reading “The World’s Greatest Living Rock Star”

When Every Day is One of Those Days

It was one of those days. He could tell. He’d had many of those days. He’d had a lifetime of those days. Sometimes Sam wondered what he’d done to deserve this life, but on the whole he tried not to think about it. Doreen was asleep, a sort of occasional half-snore emanating from her sideContinue reading “When Every Day is One of Those Days”

The Secret Rites of Folk Singers

Those of you who have heard the fearsome ululations of the folk singers when they manage to hunt and capture a feral banjo, wild guitar or bestial accordion will know the dread that creeps down the spine whenever in range of that unearthly cry. Not only that, the folk singers will then arrange amongst themselvesContinue reading “The Secret Rites of Folk Singers”

Then She Sang

  I knew her back then. Of course, everyone, these days, who wants some claim to hipness, they all like to claim they were there in the beginning before the fame, before it all went wrong. But I really was there, at the time. It was one of the cities near the edge of theContinue reading “Then She Sang”

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