Domestication of the Wild Hairstylist

Back in those far off days, enormous tribes of hairstylists would sweep majestically over the wide-open plains of this ancient and noble land, often scaring the Romans and frightening the Vikings. Later, no Middle-Age city-centre was safe from the late night deprecations of these fearsome savages and many a medieval innocent shopping trolley was sacrificedContinue reading “Domestication of the Wild Hairstylist”

Lawyer Whelping Boxes

I remember it well. One day, late in the 1970s, suddenly there it was, resplendent, laid out in all its glory and slightly less florid around the edges than the advertising brochure would have you believe. Of course, I have seen many wild lawyer nests in my life up to then. But this was –Continue reading “Lawyer Whelping Boxes”

Good News In Rural Affairs

Some good news in rural affairs, for once. At long last it seems that the Forestry Commission of Great Britain has decided that it is going to reintroduce breeding pairs of banjos back into the wild in some specially selected forests and woodland areas. It has been many years, maybe a century or more, sinceContinue reading “Good News In Rural Affairs”

Transgressions Of The Social Norms

There are times when disciplinary measures do have to be taken against certain denizens of Little Frigging who have – in some way – transgressed the social Norms, or who have not behaved in the fully upstanding way one would expect of one’s friends and acquaintances. Now, for serious transgressions of the law we –Continue reading “Transgressions Of The Social Norms”

Sex Weasel Spanners

It is not often that I write about my extensive – and rather enviable – collection of Sex Weasel Spanners, and today will be no exception. Frankly, the use of Sex Weasel Spanners is a matter best left to us experts, and I don’t want to be held responsible for any misuse of these precisionContinue reading “Sex Weasel Spanners”

The Inter-Village Orgy League Team Squad

Of course, applying the grommet to the seating point just under the offside mud flap of your oiled and naked left inside full-frontal forward wingback is quite an easy and straightforward piece of elementary orgy squad tactical maintenance. It is nowhere near as complex as a complete re-orienteering of your right midfield outside fondler afterContinue reading “The Inter-Village Orgy League Team Squad”

Cold Winter Thermal Fetish Gear

Now, as the cold winter weather of our global warming continues I am sure that you must all have already made full use of your thermal fetish gear, fur-lined penile restraints, cold weather nipple clamps and woollen wallaby grouting aprons. Also, you should also make sure your sex spatulas are kept warm and at optimumContinue reading “Cold Winter Thermal Fetish Gear”

Grand Uncle Stagnant and Philosophy

Let me take you by the throat and lead you through the streets of Little Frigging, where later this evening we will see Grand Uncle Stagnant taking the scenic route home from The Pervert’s Appendage. His route usually takes him via some of the more verdant of the hedges in the vicinity as well asContinue reading “Grand Uncle Stagnant and Philosophy”

Blowin’ Free

Well now, as it happens today sees the first day of Little Frigging’s Annual Village Free Fondle Week. All the denizens of Little Frigging have decked themselves out in their traditional free-fondling outfits and fondling mittens, and we have all been furiously polishing our sex spatulas in readiness. Of course, these days these traditional ruralContinue reading “Blowin’ Free”

Community Leader

As you may, or may not, know (probably the latter, as I’ve never knowingly mentioned it before) Colonel Fitz-Tightly is the closest Little-Frigging-in-the-Wold has to a so-called community leader. Like all such community leaders, it is a position he himself seems to have elected himself to, without reference to anyone else. Mostly, it seems, thisContinue reading “Community Leader”

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