Sunday Poem: Stories and Lies

Stories and Lies I saw her. She was walking so alone. The road was long, and lasted all her days. She would, I knew, then grow so weary sore Of walking, long before that endless road Then curved off into distance far beyond. The road was heading on towards some place Beyond the maps we

Village Green Orgies And The English Summer

Obviously, during a typical British summer, especially a barbecue summer as faithfully promised by our weather forecasters, it is advisable not to try to hold an open-air orgy on the village green, certainly not without snorkels and flippers. Admittedly, an open-air orgy in snorkels and flippers does have a great deal to recommend it, especially

The Victorian Cheese Mines and Poverty

Pencilcase Shoveha’penny was one of the Victorian era’s most famous social reformers. She was a daughter of the UK’s richest Cheese mine owning families in the Wensleydale area. This was a region known for its extraordinary number of cheese mines. Consequently, the poor from the surrounding rural areas were drawn to the cheese mining villages,

Not as We Know It

It was soft, gentle, almost like the echo of some fading half-forgotten dream left behind on the pillow of a warm summer morning. Berna felt it there, in her mind, waiting for her. It should have been comforting, a reassurance of something living, like a docile pet in the hands of a child. But…. Something

The Special Theory of Cheese

These days Spangle Teatray is probably the world’s most famous TV scientist. Both TV critics and viewers regard her hit BBC TV series on Norman Ninestein’s Special Theory of Cheese as the best science programme ever on TV. As one critic said, ‘it is the most comprehensive scientific description of the fundamental role cheese plays

Going Back Home

‘Oh, yes. I had one of those wizards in the back of my cart once.’ ‘Really?’ Grenk’s neck felt hot. He could tell the carter wasn’t impressed by wizards. Grenk was glad his official wizarding hat was in his travelling trunk, now balanced precariously on the load of… well, the load of whatever it was

Use Of the Barn

During the traditional British summer, it is often the case that the frequent drizzle gives way to actual rain. For those who do not wish to partake of fully-moistened perversions then it is advisable to gather all ones accoutrements together and repair to some place more suitable, and – hopefully – drier. Traditionally, in the

Open-Air Orgies And Their Drawbacks

Spring is now upon us and I trust you all (both of you) have your sexual arousal spatulas fully-oiled (with turbo-weasel spleen oil) ready for the new season’s round of orgies. It will not be long now before the open-air orgy scene begins in earnest*. Although open-air orgies seem to embody so much of the

The Wheelbarrows of Perversion

Of course, it is not necessary to keep the post-orgy wheelbarrows solely for taking home those that have found themselves overcome by the end of the evening’s activities. For there are many garden-related perversions that can easily be adapted for the village hall orgy, except, perhaps, not the Forced Rhubarb Undertaking which is best left

Al Fresco

Al Fresco, our farmhand has been helping out the dairymaids yet again, down in the upper lower pasture. As far as we can tell, he seems to have been mostly helping them out of their underwear, judging by the number of discarded pairs of knickers and errant bras hanging from the horns of the cows