The Fundamental Theory of Cats

Pelmet Cheesetoastie is probably the world’s most famous contemporary theoretical physicist. Although he may not have the luxuriant hairstyling necessary for a career as a TV scientist, nevertheless he has found international fame through the vital nature of his studies. At first, the scientific world was sceptical about another fundamental force beyond the forces physics

Reality is Not What it Used to Be

‘Is it real?’ I asked. ‘Ah.’ Professor Wilheim thrust his hands into the pockets of his lab coat. ‘That is an interesti-‘ A puzzled frown crossed his face. He withdrew his right hand from the pocket. He was now holding about two-thirds of a cheese salad baguette in his hand. He sniffed it, prodded it

On Knowing Where to Shove It

It was not easy. Although, it seldom is – as anyone who has been married for any length of time knows. Still, I did as she suggested and tried it. Perhaps there are some who go for that sort of thing. But, on the whole, I do not think I am one of them. Anyway,

The Special Theory of Cheese

These days Spangle Teatray is probably the world’s most famous TV scientist. Both TV critics and viewers regard her hit BBC TV series on Norman Ninestein’s Special Theory of Cheese as the best science programme ever on TV. As one critic said, ‘it is the most comprehensive scientific description of the fundamental role cheese plays

UK Government Announces New Science Strategy

Yesterday, the UK Government announced that from next year it will begin closing all scientific research establishments and cut all science research funding for British universities and other research projects. Instead, the government has decided to put all their scientific research money into increasing use of tabloid article comments. As a government spokesperson said, ‘time

Of All the Dimensions in All the Universes

They all said how they had never seen me so happy, which I suppose must mean I was once a very miserable bugger indeed. ‘When can we meet her?’ It was a question I grew tired of hearing. I developed an extensive repertoire of evasive, non-committal responses. Of course, the best one was eventually admitting

The World Storms

Sometimes there are too many worlds out there. They fall across each other, overlapping and spilling into each other. It takes time to sort them out, put each one back on its own track, give each one its own independent timeline again. The technicians gossip, as technicians always do, that the storms are getting worse.

The Sock Event Horizon

As we all know, the black holes in the universe all lie beyond what physicists call the Sock Event Horizon. This is the place where all the odd socks, lost pens and other detritus of the universe ends up as it disappears from this universe, using the black hole as a conduit or wormhole to

Beyond Anything Anyone Could Ever Know

There are times when what is real, and what isn’t real is no longer as simple as people tend to assume. Rose knew that the real around her was only tenuous at best. She knew the real could fade away and become as insubstantial as any dream left behind on her sleeping pillow. She could

Free Kindle Novel: Juggling Balls – a Science Fiction Comedy

Available FREE for the next Five days Juggling Balls is available here (universal link)  Juggling Balls A Science Fiction Comedy  Martin Laws hates mysteries. So why has someone sent him a bag of juggling balls? Why has he no memory of buying a new computer? Why has that new computer decided Martin needs to go shopping? Why